Parent Care in the Nearly Normal Aging Family – My Blog.
The adult children in the nearly normal family children and the old old parent are unprepared by their own American culture for this new developmental phase – caring for an aging parent. The greatest Generation felt indomitable. The baby boomers felt their parents would always be there. No one expected parent care, like they did expect the nights of the crying newborn or the rebellious teen. So they are l thrown off balance by the sometime sudden and usually unexpected loss of their anchoring aging parents.
Indeed what must happen in this new developmental phase is that the adult child must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on his or her parents for that fiscal, emotional and social support. The baby boomer must transition to what Blenkner calls filial maturity or a new mature state where they, as midlife adults, can give up their former roles as dependent, needy children and start to provide care to their old/old parents
In the normal healthy family system this filial crisis can be overcome and the adult children can let go of their former dependent roles and confront their parents loss by organizing and providing care many times with the help of a geriatric care manager.